Are favors a complicated business?
Favours are good and bad, divine and dangerous. We operate in a vastly transactional culture. You do this for me, I’ll do that for you. Like an equal Give and Take.
Be very mindful of who you ask for favours. If you ask someone you don’t respect to give you a leg up even though you really need one, and it would be so easy for them to oblige you may be in the position one day to help out that same someone. That kind of scratch-my-back-and-I’ll-scratch-yours karma takes a bite out of your integrity and potentially your reputation.
Regrettable favours happen all the time. It’s part of learning and leading in life. Just because you took a favour doesn’t mean you have to grant a favour the same way. But yeah, whenever you can, try to return the favour. If it feels soul-sapping to lend a hand, if you’re uncomfortable or compromising, then please step out. I like to keep my favours clean and setting boundaries. Why do anything, that feels heavy and dutiful? Either reframe it into a positively empowered choice or back away from it.
Favour boundaries can be useful for everyone. That keeps it simple. It’s easy for them to say no, and nobody’s feelings get hurt. Be clear!
Favour boundaries can turn your heart into a prune. Just show up for your friends, in the middle of the night, when it’s inconvenient. Suck it up and get your soul in gear. Never push yourself for something that you will not do for your own self. If you have a second thought on should I really do it, stop there, it has to come naturally and without much of a thought.
When you are looking for a return of a result for your good deed, you want it quickly. But when you know that there are many lifetimes, you realize that if you don’t get it sooner, you get it later adding up all the interest, after all, life is beautiful and messy mathematics. If someone doesn’t appreciate your efforts or takes advantage of you, thank them because they will pay you back later with interest. When it comes to enjoying the fruit of your actions, good deeds or even blessings, be patient to enjoy the moments you so well deserve.
It doesn’t matter how enlightened you are; If you grant favour to someone, it adds up in a box of your own good deeds. But favours that are not attached to how they get returned are so pure and full of love and respect. And everything you give someday returns to you- as they say in the law of attraction. You may help someone today, and the favour could be returned in another form or by a stranger, with no time limit- as time is fluid. Just know that it all comes back in a full circle. And giving always is fulfilling yourself and uplifting others. True & free favours are like beads on cosmic mathematics, accounted for by invisible forces, and returned just when we need them the most.
